Breaking: Vice-President Bellot Responds to the creation of OCDS

Editor's Note: The following article by Jared Bellot is in response to an earlier April Fools Day article: Student government deemed illegitimate and unconstitutional; splinter group establishes government in exile. This article makes little sense unless read in context, so we recommend reading the original article first.

Mr. and Ms. Beaver Reader readers,

Recently it came to my attention that a splinter cell “terrorist group” calling itself the OCDS has begun to challenge the legitimacy of the Wilmot-Bellot administration and the BCDS student council as a whole. Let it be known that in no way will the Beaver Student Council allow such danger inflicted on our beloved student body. Our goal as a governing body is to prevent regimes (terrorist) that sponsor terror from threatening Beaver Country Day School or our friends and allies with weapons of mass destruction and anti progressive values. Some of these regimes have been pretty quiet since their succession from the greater school on the first of April 2008. But we know their true nature. The OCDS is a regime arming with missiles and weapons of un-progressiveness, while starving its students of the knowledge and hands on learning which they crave oh so much.

The OCDS aggressively pursues these weapons and exports terror, while an unelected few repress the students and their hopes for freedom.

Groups like these, and their terrorist allies, constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world. By seeking weapons of mass destruction, and a break away from our progressive values, these regimes pose a grave and growing danger. They could provide these anti-progressive learning values to terrorists, giving them the means to match their hatred. They could attack our allies or attempt to blackmail the humble and beautiful Beav. In any of these cases, the price of indifference would be catastrophic. Thank you, and remember, if we stop learning, the OCDS will win. Never stop learning. Never stop questioning. And so my fellow Beaver students, I leave you with these parting thoughts. In this time of great worry and danger for our school, remember, the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself, not the so called “OCDS” and their politics of fear.

Sincerely,

Jared Bellot
Vice President of BCDS Student Council
Adviser to President Wilmot + President Bush