Early this morning, a splinter group calling itself “OCDS” announced its intention to challenge the legitimacy of the existing student government. It claims that the Wilmot administration has flagrantly ignored several crucial tenets of the Student Council Constitution. On these grounds, OCDS has declared the existing student government illegitimate, and moved forward with establishing a government in exile.
Among the claims made by OCDS in their press release are the following:
1. Article Five, governing modification and amendment of the Constitution, states: “Every year the current Student Council must review and vote to re-approve this constitution so that it remains an active document.” OCDS claims to have evidence that yearly reviews and re-ratifications are not taking place. The fact that the Constitution was drafted by the Student Council of the 1995–1996 school year and modified just once by the Student Council of 2002-2003 supports their position.
2. Article Five also states: “A copy of this document will be given to each member of Council at the start of the school year.” OCDS claims to have evidence that this is not happening.
3. Article Five concludes with: “Additionally, a copy will be posted prominently on the bulletin board of the main hallway of the school so the student body may view the rules and regulations their elected officials are subject to.” Even since far before the repainting, there appears to be no posted copy of the Constitution. (It is also inappropriate to end the sentence—and thus the entire Constitution—in a preposition.)
4. OCDS is furthermore adamant that the existing system of voting for student representatives, as laid out in Articles III and IV, is generally weak and suffers from a serious transparency deficiency, particularly concerning the meaningfulness of second- and third-place votes.
The press release asserts that these issues are not particular to any single administration, but endemic in the entire system.
In addition to rectifying the above grievances, OCDS has outlined several other goals:
1. To reverse the trend toward use of the initialism “BCDS” in place of “Beaver.”
2. To explore a strategic alliance with Beaver’s traditional ally the Chestnut Hill School in order to counteract Brimmer and May’s recent construction of fortified underground bunkers.
3. To increase funding to groups such the Science and Engineering Club for use in weapons and defense research projects.
While the provisional government currently lacks a head of state, OCDS has nominated minor celebrity and Beaver expatriate Rob Kotzen.
The current student government has yet to respond to the statements made by OCDS.
Read more!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
BREAKING: Student government deemed illegitimate and unconstitutional; splinter group establishes government in exile
Sunday, January 13, 2008
SNOW DAY!!! (1/14)
DAN KATZ '08
At approximately 10:23 pm, Peter Hutton made the decision to cancel school for Monday, January 14th. Hundreds of eager Beavers were glued to their computer and televisions screens, awaiting the prompt updates. Anger spilled out immediately over the delay of the announcement, shown by the comments on the post previous to this one. We, as Beaver Students, are well aware of the administration's hatred of "unneeded" snow days, and we were worried that this storm would fail to phase Mr. Hutton on his 300 ft walk to school. However, the recent announcement of Hutton's decision rekindled our love for our headmaster, only lost during a brief period of doubt.
We at the newspaper were prepared to attack any refusal to cancel school on Monday. As staff member Maddy Kiefer wrote: "As a new driver, I feel that I am compromising my safety in coming to school, so, if we don't have a snow day, I will be forced to choose: my education, or my safety?"
However, now all that is left to do is rejoice! Happy first snow day of 2008!
In honor of snow days of the past: (brought to you by Toph & Willy Tucker)
Read more for "Top Six Things to do During a Beaver Snow Day."
TOP SIX THINGS TO DO DURING A BEAVER SNOW DAY
6. Come to the realization that your local library has a digital checkout system that allows each patron to take up to 99 books out at once. 99 books! Mountains of books! Wonderful books! NO, NOT TO READ! This is a snow day! When you're settled from the excitement, print a list of the 60+ books you somehow carted home and spread them around town: in the snow, in the dumpster, under the car. Then send everyone on a scavenger hunt. Hand out prizes for first book found and most books found in total. Reserve a special last place award for anyone who spontaneously decides to read a book. Double Grand Prize goes to you, in the end, when they all head out to return the books. Then you won't owe $112.50 per day when they all become overdue at once.
5. Take a jog over to Beaver and knock on Peter Hutton’s front door. Ask to come in, and he should comply. Sit him down, and explain to him the need for a school day despite the weather. Let the tears shed as you explain to him all of the knowledge you missed from his decision, and because of that your entire future has been compromised. Today’s lesson on Algorithmic Art could have led to a successful career and fulfilling life. BUT NO! You were forced to stay home and drink hot chocolate, and now all has been lost. In addition, you lost the $165 it costs for a school day at beaver, and you expect someone to refund your money. THANKS A LOT PETER HUTTON!
4. Bundle up and find something--or someone--to ride around on, and force them to make weird squawking noises. Speak into your wrist from time about the desolateness of your surroundings. Then find a polar bear (or abominable snowman), have it eat your friend and take you to its cave, and then escape by cutting off its arm. Collapse in the snow and hallucinate until someone finds you. (Confused?)
3. Come on! Be cliché! Just make a snowman! BUT be creative: dress it up as your favorite Beaver faculty member so you don’t miss them too much during your time away. If you take a picture and send it to us, we will be sure to post it!
2. Recite a Lord of the Rings speech in front of the entire student body as your presidential campaign speech.
1. DO HOMEWORK…and then read the Beaver Newspaper!
Read more!
In Anticipation of a Possible Snow Day (1/14)
UPDATE: CLOSED!!! More coming soon!
We, the newspaper staff, are awaiting Peter Hutton's decision on tomorrow's snow storm. It is 10:20, and Newton and Brookline have both been closed. However, Beaver prides itself on their bravery when it comes to having school despite a storm. It aimed to shed its reputation of frequent snowdays, and has accomplished just that.
Keep posted to the Newspaper's site for snow updates, and tips on how to spend a snow day.
P.S: Mr. Hutton, we beg of you...
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